Really this time!!! ;)
I take 2 shakes a day and have a fairly light meal for dinner! I'm also going to the gym regularly again! Been there 5 times this week! GOOD ME! :-D I'm now trying something called "Better Belly", I'm on the cross-trainer for 45 minutes and litterally sweat my ass off!!! It's brutal! Well, not brutal, but it's quite intense! Especially for someone who doesn't like to sweat to begin with! ;)
Anyways, it gives me more energy and it makes me damn proud of myself.
The only problem I'm facing now is that I feel it's okay to have a snack almost every day! I burn close to 400 calories everytime at the gym, and that's great for losing weight! But then I shouldn't be snacking obviously! Twice this weak I fell off the wagon! But, when I fall, I get back up again! ;) No harm done really, I didn't overload myself, just had some chocolate I shouldn't have bought in the first place! So I'm not doing that again!
I have also decided that I need to lose all the bad things in my life right now. Cuz when I'm unhappy it's poison to my diet! Right now, my job is the damn poison! There's a lot of great stuff to being a nurse, but lately it doesn't outweigh the negative sides to it. For the past year I've been staying at my job just for the money. My back hurts all the time, and believe me, old people can be very mean and disrespectful!!! And as the professional you have to take their crap! Litterally :-( I guess I'm just done with it! Pretty much all I do is wash people who in most cases are too lazy to do it themselves! That's not what I spend 3 years in school for! I'm throwing away all those years anyways by changing jobs and giving it all up right now kinda sucks, but I know in my heart that it's the right thing for me to do right now. Besides, my back always hurts when I'm working! It's just really hard on your body and mind I guess and I'm done with it!
As of next week I start working somewhere else... THE GYM! How about that??!! I was waiting for something to come along, and I think for now, this is it! I just hope that I can work more then what they offer me right now, cuz I'm losing a LOT of money compared to what I earn now! But at least I'll get a break and hopefully find what it is that I really wanna do in and with my life! Something I enjoy, and if that means making less money, well, so be it!
Right now I need to care about me and the most important thing still is losing some more weight! At least 7 more kilo's and I'm thinking maybe even a little more! I'll see.... I've reached all of my goals so far, so I can reach the ones I'm setting now aswel! It hasn't been easy, believe me! Finding exactly what you want in life can take a very long time! And even though I think I know exactly what I need, I don't have one freakin' clue! But, the sky is the limit! And I will always have some form of inspiration! When it comes to losing weight, lately it's kinda been the lead singer of my favorite band, he gained and lost alot of weight a while back! Although I do think he's lost a little too much, but it's probably cuz he's so very, very busy! One look at him still makes me think: 'DAMN! If he can do it, anyone can do it! I CAN DO IT!' I have done it, and I'm not stopping, giving up and I sure as hell ain't going back!
I love the sunrise! It can start again every day and be beautiful no matter what! One day even more beautiful than the day before! It's always there, we just gotta open our eyes and SEE it... If we open our eyes, we can see beauty in everything, even ourselves!
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