The glass half full?

It's been way too long since I last wrote a random blog, I know and I'm sorry.
So many things on my mind lately! Other things I seem to forget about sometimes...

I don't think I'm the only one who daydreams a lot. Who keeps thinking about all the things I'd love to have in life. How I would like to look and all the things I want to change about myself and my life...
And I hope I'm not the only one who thinks it's time to stop my daydreaming and do with the things I do have! Don't get me wrong, I will always have daydreams and hopes and sectret wishes, but I also need to realize that I have so many good things going for me right now!

You all know my whole diet experience... And believe me I would love to loose some more weight. One of my daydreams (I call them daydreams by the way 'cuz fantasies sound so obsessed I think) is having a body like Brooke Hogan... She's tall, like me and has a killer body with really all the right curves! But I also know the hard work it takes to have a body like that and I know myself good enough to know that I'm just too lazy! But it's time to tell myself how damn proud I am for the weight that I HAVE lost! Over 40 pounds!!! Although I'd love to loose about 20 more, it's time to look at myself and be happy about how I look now compared to 1,5 years ago!
That alone has changed my life for the better. I'm more secure about my body and more open to other people. Friendships above all!

I don't know if many know, I don't think so, but pretty much my entire teenage life I've been bullied. Mostly at school, but also going to school and going back home would be painful for me too. I'd hear someone call out something like "Hey, you're fat and ugly!" "Monster!" "Yeah I'd date you if I liked hippo's"... I could go on forever about how people have hurt me terribly with their words! How they, probably without knowing it, scarred and changed me for the rest of my life! How incredibly insecure I am, how suspicious I always am about people whispering, assuming it's me they're joking about. Waiting for the fat jokes, even from people I loved. They thought it was funny and meant no harm I'm sure, but they never knew how much it cut on the inside! Does anyone know how hurt I am? How I cry myself to sleep sometimes, or watch a love story and think that'll never happen to me because of my insecurities? Or how affraid I am of keeping people close, because they've betrayed me in the past? Nobody knows, and not everybody should know, but I need to get it out! Being bullied for nearly 5 years is one of the worst things a child can go through and it never stops hurting! It never leaves you and it never, ever gets any better!
I lost my weight for ME, and absolutely no one else, don't get me wrong! But if I could see those people, everyone who called me fat or ugly in the past and show them the me now... What I'd give to see their faces!
I know losing more weight and keeping it off will be a battle for the rest of my life. It will be MY battle! I just hope I'm strong enough to keep up the fight though...

I eventually reached out to a therapist when I was 17! When you feel that the people you used to talk to are either fed up with it, or just don't know what to do to stop your pain and tears, it might be the best thing to do. And I was glad I reached out to someone else, because my parents saw way too much of my pain and just didn't know what to do anymore. My mother was hurt, having a daughter depressed and hurt all the time. And my dad was tired of hearing the same things over and over and just wanted me to do something about it! He felt frustrated not being able to help me, and thought I was the only one who could help myself! I never really had friends to turn to. I'm glad I agreed to "talk to someone". It's nothing to be ashamed of! A therapist looks at places you never even thought about! They help you! She helped me! I'm glad I talked to one, it was kind of a first step in the right direction.

Not just losing weight and talking about my pain has changed my life for the better. But music has changed my life too! I've always been able to escape into music and another daydream of mine is to be an artist! If only I could sing... I'd give anything to have a voice like Pink, Alicia Keys or Adele... But I don't have it, so all I can do is be passionate about the music made by others, and have them speak for me!
Eminem does so! I feel his anger. He knows what it's like to be bullied. Maybe not in the same way I was bullied but he knows! His songs make me feel like I'm not alone! It's the music Pink makes, how she feels a woman should be and how I couldn't agree more! I aprreciate people who speak the truth, their own thruth or that of the world in their songs!
How 30 Seconds to Mars has changed my life! (yeah THAT band again)
I'm not obsessed. Those who think I am, just don't get it and don't really know me at all. The people who laugh or give me that "WTF-look" when I tell them that my tattoo stands for this band. How rediculous they find it that I not only go to as many shows as possible, I also travel halfway across the world to see them perform and FINALLY meeting them! Paying so much money to have a so called "Meet and Greet" with some band.... Wrong! I have a Meet and Greet with people who's music speaks for me! It's my life they sing about! It's all these feelings and frustrations inside of me that I can't word out. This band does it for me! If there's any music out there that I can escape into completely, it's 30 Seconds to Mars without a single doubt!
Not only the music though, but the people that have come along with it! The people you meet waiting in line for a concert all day. These are the people that understand me. They feel the same way. This band has changed their lives! It kept me going when I felt like giving up! (diet wise, don't worry) It gave me the opportunity to be myself and open up to other people, a whole group of people with the same interests and beliefs. My new group of friends! I keep in touch with them every single day! They know I'm not obsessed, I'm passionate. I've found a passion in my life and it's a band and the group of fans with it! I honestly don't know how my life would be like now without them!

There are so many dreams I still have! I still want that killer body, I still wanna be a singer, I want to fall in love like they do in love stories. Have a big house, no financial worries and 3 beautiful and healthy children! Don't we all?!
But I've decided to look at my life half full!
I look better then I ever did, I feel happy because of it! I haven't been called fat OR ugly in years and I don't feel like I am those words anymore either!
I have a passion in life and friends that truely understand me! I'm healthy and have found lust for life! I travel, meet new people, go to concerts and festivals... These are exactly the things you wouldn't see me do 2 years ago! I'd stay at home, in front of the tv and be safe...
I might not have found my so called "mr. Right" yet and part of me believes I'm waiting for the right one. But I'm not desperate for it anymore either! I love the life I have now! All the fun and friends I have. The relationship with my entire family. Beacuse they see how I've changed for the better. How I've blossomed! And ofcourse my health! Whatever is missing, I'm sure will come along!

I don't need someone else to love me for who I am...

I need ME to love me for who I am!

EcheLondon 2011

After meeting Carol while we both were queing in Oberhausen for a 30 Seconds to Mars show (which was Karen's idea to begin with) we decided to keep in touch via twitter and Facebook.
After a little while we dicided that we should meet up again and I would come over to visit Carol in London. Karen would also be coming over and we'd have a whole weekend filled with MARS!

March 11th was the day! The MIM (Meeting In March) was about to happen! My flight was perfect and I landed a little earlier then expected!


Carol and Karen picked me up from the airport and it was as if I was meeting old friends that I saw just a few weeks ago even though this was the first time Karen and myself met in real person!
There's this instant bond that you have with fellow Echelon! That's how I see it anyways!

We went to Carol's house, since my bag was HEAVY!
I had my very first tea WITH MILK! And although I thought it was the weirdest thing ever, I must now admit it's a pretty tasty thing to do!

Off we went!!! For a long walk, to see all sights and the weather was absolutely gorgeous!






First stop was Buckingham Palace in all it's glory! A beautiful sight I must say!








We walked on towards the Horse Guards and to Trafalgar Square. Another great place to have seen!













We stopped for a nice drink and walked on towards the Big Ben! You just can't visit London and not see Big Ben... He was very impressive. Makes Karen and I look very small!!! I like BB ;)









After freshening up and having (I'll bet) a cup of tea with milk, we went back into town for dinner! Navajo Joe's and chicken Piri Piri was what I was having! Lisa Marie also joined us at the table and since she's coming to San Fransisco with us in 3 weeks, it was nice meeting her!
Dinner was really nice too! But it had been a very busy and long day, so since it was gettng late we decided to go home and go to bed!

What an amazing first day!


The next day we went to visit the London Tower!
It was a journey back into time and the sights were absolutely gorgeous!
A so called Beef Eater showed us around and told us some stories to get the feeling of how life was there centuries ago!








The buildings were beautiful outside and in and it's a sight worth seeing. My advise to everyone visiting London: go visit the London Tower because it's worth the visit in every way!
























We took a little boat ride back towards Carol's house and picked up some Fish 'n Chips!!! I had to have Fish 'n Chips while in England!!! It was yummie too! All the tastes and sights for me when I'm visiting a country!














So the next mission was... SCONES!
And it was planned for the next day!
We went to visit the Trocadero Centre in Picadilly Circus, another sight very much worth seeing!


We had a nice look around and took some nice pictures too!
Dropped in at an Arcade and decided we were gonna go back there after we had our scones...
Opposite the Ritz we had those little beauties! Had a Rarebit too with a poched egg on top and after that...
















The most delicous Scones with clutted cream and jam I ever had! The first ones I'd ever had, but they were delicious! It was worth the wait I tell ya!



So, back to the arcade it was!
I'll let some pictures just, speak for themselves...









That horse I must add, was the most fun AND pain I had in years!!! Although I had to ride it myself, I had no idea what to do and so it was riding me... HARD! Ohw if only I would've been able to have watched myself on that horse, who I by the way called Shannon. I don't know why...
Guess "Hurts like Satan" can be re-written... :p




Since going on an actual Red Bus never happened during my stay in London, I went with this one! Did it for me ;)










Anywho, we had a blast and were content when we were back at Carol's place! We were still in a gaming mode though, so we bowled and played Mario Kart on the Wii! It was fun!

The next day it was just Karen and me! Carol was starting her nightshift that night so she went to bed during the day and Karen and I went on a mission: English breakfast... The thought of it initially grossed me out, but it was 11.30 by the time we got to the little diner so it wasn't neccesarily breakfast anymore! It was a really good dish! It even suprised Karen! It was really good!












After "brunch" we went for a walk in Battersea Park... Another amazing place! So many wonderfull sights and views!












You can tell by this tree blossoming how beautiful the weather was! It was like springtime in London and it made the trip even more beautiful! I concider us lucky! Very lucky!



















Karen is overlooking the river Thames!












All in all this was a perfect weekend! I'm grateful, once again, that because of MARS I was able to meet more amazing people like Carol and Karen! And we gotta love our personal Echelon online dating site called: twitter!
We listened and watched quite a bit of 30 Seconds to Mars. From acoustic songs, to Rock am Ring and Jared on Chattyman!
I want to thank Carol for inviting me over to her place and makling me feel so welcome. And Karen for being there too and making this weekend so much fun for the 3 of us! I loved everything about this weekend and I'll see you in 3 weeks in San Fransisco baby!!!

To finish: Carol and Karen, you're funny f*cking c*nts ;)

Echelon Party, the 3rd

As you all know by now, over here in Holland we get together as a group of friends, as family to mostly talk about and listen to our favorite band 30 Seconds to Mars!
We did this for the 3rd official time on March 5th at Marianne's place!




We all got together and the fun started right away. Some people you hadn't seen in a while, others you had never met before!
The family grows at every party it seems ;)


We had some delicious snacks and Marianne was spoiled with a few lovely presents!
That's kinda become a tradition too, the one hosting the party get's all sorts of creative gifts made by other Echelon! I think, those are the best gifts in the world! ;)


While the music was playing away in the background and drinks were pouring, everybody was talking and having fun. All memories from parties before were brought up and stories that hadn't been told already were now! It felt like the last time we all sat together was just a week ago, but it had actually been a good 3 months!



We went outside to take a few pictures, what we always do! All of us together with some MARS-related things. In this case it was the AMAZING Triad and banner brought by Patti, still amazes me everytime I see them! And we had a poster to send a little message to Shannon, cuz it was almost his 41th birthday! Lighting all the candles for the glowing Triad did prove to be quite a challenge, but it created some more fun too!

Most of us spend the night and we were all cosily put together as a puzzle in the bedroom! And yes, it was a fairly large bedroom! :p It was about 4 am when we called it a night...

The next morning we enjoyed a lovely breakfast and talked some more. About our dreams, made some jokes here and there as we always do! Time to admit that the guys are quite often the centre of our jokes, but since Marianne has 2 large posters of them on both sides of the dinner table, you had a few awkward moments staring at the guy you're joking about! All innocent jokes, don't get me wrong, we love them! But we all have a good (and most importantly, the same) sence of humor!!!

Later that afternoon, when most people left, we decided to try the coconuts Nancy brought along!




We put some cute straws in them and had a little sip to try and see how they tasted...

















No comment needed.





You can imagine the fun we had though... It (by the way) turned out to be that the coconuts were "funky", they were over-ripe... Oh what the hell, there was freaking fungus all over the bastards! They were all GREEN! And it was a bitch opening them too, I eventually smashed mine on the floor outside!!! But it was worth all the fun ;)




When everybody left, Marianne made a cute little box with a picture of the guys on it and the glyphics and a nice piece of chocolate in it.
By the time we left, Jared was all gone!!! I wonder why... :p I took Shannon home and I nicked Tomo from my brother HA!

It was SO much fun! And I wanna thank Marianne for opening her place to us, letting us sleep in her bedroom (where did she end up sleeping anyways?) It was great looking at your home-made scrap book photo albums! They're all little masterpieces! Thanks for the hospitality and the yummie breakfast (and dinner for Jamie and myself) And thank you to all my sistahs and bro's for coming and sharing the fun! It was another night to remember!




And as always: THANK YOU JARED, SHANNON AND TOMO! We owe you big time!

I am finally free!

If I may recommend you anything, start listening to 30 Seconds to Mars' "Attack" now... That song is exactly how I feel! "I am finally free!"

Anyways, it's 1-1-11. What a lovely date to begin with... There's something about a date or time with the same numbers to me. Yesterday, obviously, was the last day of the year 2010. Quite a turbulent one for me I can honestly say! Made some decisions that changed my life forever!

I first of all, even though it was very hard, decided to keep holding on to my diet. It made me lose the same amount of weight I lost the year before! I can honestly say I'm very proud of myself!

Also I decided to go to a 30 Seconds to Mars concert all alone and it helped me getting to know some people. They talked to me! That's something I'm not used to, probably because I'm not open for a conversation myself... But not this time, this time it felt like talking to strangers cuz they didn't feel like strangers at all!
This experience made me decide to go to a promo-day in Amsterdam. I met up with those people again and some new faces and I started to tuely like them. We hung out on other occasions and I can now honestly say that I've made some special friends this past year. All because of a band... Crazy! These people I even call my sistahs and they will be a part of my life forever!

Another important decision I made was quitting my nursing job! I hated it! I needed a change desperately and I was gonna make that happen my own damn self! I was done with working extra shifts and not finding ONE single co-worker to help me out at times where I really needed them, like when my grandfather was dead for 2 years and we all wanted to get together with the family to honor him. Or when I had a car accident and I needed someone to change shifts with me, since I didn't have transportation... They even gave me aditude, and I can tell you that that doesn't work with me! Don't try to break me down, cuz I've learned do fight back! Also not being appreciated by those who I help. I feel we can use more appreciation for what we do as nurses! ... All in all, I was done with it and I was glad I came across something completely different! I am, as of today, officially working in a gym! And I like it! Sure, it doesn't pay as much as being a nurse does, but it's not stressful, and I have the Holidays off and most importantly, I don't have to think ahead as much. If I need a sudden day off, I know someone will help me out! Nice co-workers for me from now on ;)

I guess it's safe to say that the decisions I've made in the past year have brought me good things! Things for life, and things for a "peace of mind"!

2011
This year is going to be all about what I want and need. I'll take it as it comes, and if needed, I will change it for the better!
Maybe, dare I say it... Someone special will come along... Not like all the special people I've met last year, but my partner. I honestly don't even know if I want that, but you can't know if you've never tried right?!
I now what's important in life! It's above all health, which we can't always have all control over. It's love, that of family and friends! Spending time with those you care about, and let them know you do sometimes, even though that is pretty damn difficult for me.
I want to finish what I started and I know there's no one who can do that but me! I NEED ME! And we all need love, so I won't run away from that anymore! ;)

"I won't suffer, be broken, get tired, or wasted, surrender to nothing, or give up what I started, and stopped it, from end to beginning, a new day is coming, AND I AM FINALLY FREE!"

And this is how I really feel! ;)

Missing

The past weekend has been intense!
My family members have been fighting, my father threatened with divorce and kicking my brother out of the house, my mom cried on my shoulder and I had to beg my father to stop screeming at her. I even asked my brother to just leave.
I'm done!
Believe me, there have been fights and arguments before, and I'm sure that when I was younger I also was the cause of some of them, but never has it been like this one! Like the past year or so, it's just never ending I feel. And it gets worse every time...
I know this is the last thing I should be blogging about, and spread it on the internet and if I offend anyone by it, I'm sorry. But I just have to get rid of some of the stuff that's hurting me...
It just kills me to see my mom cry and I choke when I see my dad hurt. It amazes me, when the person who is the cause of this pain and tears, doesn't seem to be bothered by it. It's so cold! It's not how he's been raised, I'd like to think my parents did better than that!
We all take advantage of our parents in our teens, especially if they let us, but we still have the respect to stop when it's becoming too much... At least, I always did!

Anyways... I dried my mom's tears yesterday, after I cramped up cuz my dad was screaming like I never heard him do before. I talked to my dad, asking him to please apologize to mom, cuz she was hurting. I'm someone who wants to live by the code "Don't go angry"... Don't go to bed angry, don't go to work angry, don't even go to the store angry... Because "what if"... I can't imagine, not being able to say all you wanna say to the person you love before it's too late!
I've decided to back away from my brother completely. I'm tired of him using us and deviding my parents. I'm tired of trying to talk and get through to him, and not have any positive outcome. I'm tired of being nervous about a confrontation that I know they will have, especially dad and my brother. It's aweful!

We celebrated my mom's birthday yesterday and since my brother walked away from home, he didn't show up to celebrate with us. He didn't buy a present or write a card for mom... She's his mother! She does everything for him. As do we all! Shows his personality I guess... And telling others he got kicked out, no one's supportive of him, helps him, cares about him... He doesn't even know what he has and what my parents do and buy for him. What I do and buy for him, cuz he's my brother, that's what you do! All I need in return, is a thank you and respect! Why is it so hard to do just that?! It's all my parents want from both of us too, love, gratitude and respect.

I could go on and on about this, but at the end of the day, this is my family and my brother, and I don't wanna disrepect them! I've just been walking around with this all weekend, not allowed to talk to anyone about it, frustrated to see my brother spreading it around on twitter. I can't pretent non of this happened, me being in the middle of it all again! How dare he say all those things, even in his anger!
Nobody's perfect, and I damn well know I'm not either, but I do try my best to co-excist with those who I care about. It was never meant to be easy, and growing up and dealing with all sorts of situations is challenging and difficult, I know! But family is there to help you through!

To top this weekend off, today is not only my mom's 45th birthday, it's also been 5 years today since my grandmother died. She was one of the most important people in my life, my retreat, and I still miss her. Now more then ever. Now I wish I could run to her and have her comfort me. Love me. Support me, like she always did. I miss that.

Also today my grandfather's wife stopped by. My grandfather, who also was a very important part of my adult life, died 2 years ago. Whatever he said, went! He was firm, but always there for everyone! He had a big influence in my life and I like to think that I was special to him too. My mom tells me often that I was. His wife now, 2 years after she lost the man she loved, has found a new love. And though I wish her all the best and I'm truely happy for her to have found new love, it's weird to not see my grandfater by her side... He was still so young! Life just isn't fair. I do know that she really misses him too!

All in all, these past few days made me very emotional. I eat when I'm emotional, so you can imagine how my weekend has been... Without anyone knowing it, I just shed a few tears behind the computer, writing, and it feels good. I'm not keeping anything inside anymore! No anger, no pain, no frustration, no love.

If anyone reads this, please remember my code. And please, love your loved-ones and respect them. Apologize after you got angry and stepped out of line. I've been able to say goodbye to all those close to me that I loved and I can't imagine never having had that opportunity. I also know that someday, my brother will look back at these fights and feel very stupid and sorry! I also know, that by then, we all have forgotten about this and I won't feel this anger towards him anymore! I'd rather be angry with him right now, then to not have him around anymore... Cuz I can't imagine that saying goodbye is easy for anyone, and the pain will always remain. I still miss my grandparents regularly, all 3 of them, but their memory will always remain...

My grandmother, (dad's mom) God I miss her...
My grandfather, (mom's dad) miss him very much too...

Hurricane Tour 2010, Oberhausen

5.30 am ... In the car and on our way to Oberhausen to be a part of the 30 Seconds to Mars show! It ended up beeing an hours drive when it should've been 40 minutes, but when we arrived at the venue at around 6.40 am we where plesantly surprised to see only 6 other people there! We sat in front of one of the doors. YES! Frontrow for us! Us is my little brother Jamie and Echelon sistah Nancy!



It was cold!!! It was freezing a little but we where prepared! Lots of clothes and blancets and we brought chairs. So no sitting on the freezing floor for us!



We also brought enough to drink and eat to last the day. But the good thing was that there was a shopping mal nearby and it openen at 8.30 am. Every hour and a half we went inside to warm ourselves up! It made the day a lot easier.



Suddenly, at around 10 am we where told that where we were sitting, was the seating tickets entrance! O_O
We had to move and ofcourse, where we were supposed to sit all along now was filled with about 30 people... The 3 of us, and the others that followed were not amused! No more frontrow for us... :-(

Though I don't like whine, especially warmed up, we bought ourselves some Gluhwein (we where in Germany afterall) and I must say, it heated us up! Also, throughout the day, people from the venue where serving us hot tea. A very welcome bonus, since later in the afternoon it started freezing again!

As always, the line got bigger and longer as the day went by. We stept out of line real quick to put everything in the car that we didn´t need anymore, like the chairs and blankets. We´d still love to keep them, but there where too many people now and the pushing started already! 3 pm, the venue wouldn´t open ´till 6 pm and people started pushing and trying to make it to the front of the row already!!! That was aweful!



As I got back from the car, my dearest sistahs had arrived (they had seating tickets) And Patti (bless her creative boyfriend) brought her Giant Glowing BLUE Triad!!!



I needed to get back in line, to where my brother was standing. Lots of pushing, lots of comments on one another... Is this really the German Echelon spirit? Never had I seen this happening before...
An our before the show they brought us some more tea. We eventually even turned it down, they brought us that much!

6 pm ... TOTAL CHAOS! I was being pushed up against the fence and couldn't move... I'm sorry, but I had been there for nearly 12 hours and I wasn't gonna let this last hour ruine my chance on a good view! I used my elbows a little and strugled my way in! Met up with my brother, who was able to fight through the screeming pushers and he was standing second row... Luckily the girls in front of us where shorter then us, so I guess, it was okay...

On twitter, we had communicated to bring Christmas hats as a surprise for the guys! In the end there where quite a few who brought one and it made the venue look pretty!



No more shivering for us! Still 3 more hours of waiting, but we where inside.
Support act, I had never seen before, but must say was really good! Carpark North shared some of their songs with us. I think we all enjoyed it!

Then, as I thought, the stage was covered in a huge curtain! We all knew what that meant! A little longer and our heroes would be there!!!




As you get tired, more tired then you where before and the waiting becomes a pain in the ... you know ;) The anticipation is building higher and you know it's only seconds before it starts!

Then...
The lights go off... We hear those ah-so-familiar monks humming and we get an energy rush like never before, all our waiting was gonna be worth it now!
We hear Shannon drumming to "Escape" and then we hear Jared...

As the crowd joins him loud and clear by screaming at the top of their lungs "THIS IS WAR" the curtain droppes, and there they are!
Tomo right in front of us on the left side of the stage, Shannon on the right behind his gorgeous kit and Jared, crazy as always, with his blue hair and coolest sunglasses! Behind him, the biggest glowing triad I had ever seen! It too, was blue!








"Night of the Hunter" was the next song and it got us going CRAZY! A little too crazy maybe, this crowd was very pushy and aggresive unfortunately, so very soon people where fainting and beeing pulled out of the crowd. More then I had ever seen...

"A Beautifil Lie" was the next song! Followed by one of my all time favorites "Attack!"

Next came "Vox Populi" and although we know our part, the clapping and the stomping, there was simply no room to do just that! We where all too much pressed together!



"This is War" was ofcourse followed by "100 Suns" and we all had our little prayer when "Closer to the Edge" was introduced to us by Jared!





Shannon kicked off "L-490" and was joined by Tomo and Tim.

Ofcourse most of us knew, that this was the point where the acoustic set was gonna take place. I for one, becaue of all the pushing, was thinking about walking over to the soundboard since mostly that's where Jared will pop up to do some songs, just him and his guitar and us as background-vocals. But there was no stage and I could still see Jared, so I decided to stand my ground!

"From Yesterday" , "Alibi" , and "Bad Romance" where part of the acoustic set and Jared started off with "the Kill, but was thankfully joined by Shannon and Tomo to make it a full band version! And as always, this was the point where Jared got a little closer to the crowd. Unfortunately for me, again, not where I was standing. But it was great nontheless!

Jared took a pic of the crowd, and I had hoped he would've posted it somewhere, but for whatever eason he didn't. Maybe soon..??!!
Shannon did some freestyling, only as he can do it! Damn, that man is good.
All three of them where showing their consearn when a girl fell down in the crowd and they made sure she was okay before the show continued! How sweet!




My surprise of the evening was "the Fantasy"! Never heard them play it live before, so this was a moment to rember. It was for the believers as Jared said, and I for one sure feel like one of those!
It was also my first time to see "Hurricane" live! What an amazing moment, especially with the video released not too long ago!

Then, the moment I had not been waiting for, "Kings and Queens" since this means the end of the show! Jared hand-picked all the people from the crowd, and he even invited me AND my brother on stage... But security didn't help us, so we never where able to fight our way through the crowd... I gotta say, it was a painful moment for me. And I felt it for a few days...

I was sad it was over, Shannon handed out some drum sticks, one got very close, but for those short girls standing in front of me... And Jared thanked us for coming out. It still took a while before I could move again. Finally some air!
In the end, it sucks that the show was over, but in this case I was glad it was, since it meant that people where walking away and I could move again!

We met up with our Dutch Echelon family at the soundboard and outside the venue and talked about our experience. Sad it was over, but very tired we said our goodbyes and went to the car. Thinking if maybe we should hang around to see if the guys would show up, but we where cold and tired and just ready to go home! I did see a new Echelon sistah on my way to the car, and had a quick chat with her again. You meet the most amazing people through this band and for that, I'm forever thankful!

It'll be a while before I see them again I'm afraid, but I truely hope it'll be somewhere in the next year! I miss them already!

And for those who haven't been to one of their shows, you're missing out! Try it and be in the moment. MARS will take you to a place you've never been and you will like it!

Glamourized!

Finally! Today Adam Lambert is giving his first EVER concert in the Netherlands! Paradiso in Amsterdam has got something coming!!!
I've been looking out to this day for a while now, so I'm very excited!


Took us a good 3 hours drive, with some jams and finding a parking sport to get there, but my brother Jamie, his 2 friends Kay and Fay and I are ready for some Glambert!!!
I gotta say that, before we left, I asked my dad if I was wearing too much make-up... His responce was "YES!" so I knew I was ready for the show! ;)

We only waited in line for about 2,5 hours before we got pushed in by all the screeming girls who couldn't wait any longer!
By now we had met up with some other lovely ladies!




Inside we all got ready with some glow-in-the-dark decoration! Purty huh?!






Now it's time to wait a little...
And a little more...

But then the lights go out and...


There he is!!! And fuck me! He's playing my favorite song VOODOO to start off with 0_0 HAPPY!!!

And boy, does that man overdress in all the right ways! He look GLAMTASTIC!




His voice is to die for, I'm even amazed with how incredibly good he sounds live!!! Throughout the show, with all the dancing his voice kept hitting every note! Bless him!
I loved the show, loved the dancers and loved Tommy ;) Everybody who was there knows what I'm talking about... Naughty boys... LOL


As with everything that's VERY good in life, this came to an end way too soon! But it gave me a buzz that I'm today, 2 days later, still on!!!




I'm glamourized for life and I was glad and honered to be a part of Adam's very first tour, and very first gig in Holland! Hope to see him again soon!