I need to find my strength and will-power again, cuz I've proven to myself that I do have it!!!
I'll take you back to August of last year... It was then when I descided to stop being who I was and becoming who I wanted to be! I wanted to be happy with me and especially what I looked like! I needed to lose weight and I needed to do it my own damn self! I did get help from someone, she was my mental support and obviously my family was there for me too! I managed to lose 16 kilo's so far and I surprised myself with that!
The only frustrating problem is, that I lost my will to continue!!! I'm done with it, but I'm not satisfied yet! I wanna lose about 10 more kilo's and I know how to do it, but it's like I can't bring up the energy to do it... I'm careful with what I eat (most of the time) but I stopped working out!!! What's up with that..??!! I know that THAT is exactly what I should be doing to lose the remaining 10 aching kilo's... So why the hell am I not doing anything??!! It's so hard when people frustrate you especially if the person is YOU! I know I can do it, I've proved it to everybody, so why does the last little part of my trip seem so far far far away? I need to get back on my "weight-losing-horse" ASAP cuz my frustration is building higher!
I'm alot happier than I was before, don't get me wrong! And I'm very proud of all the things I have achieved so far and all the compliments I'm getting, but I'm just not satisfied yet... So I need to get there!
There's nobody that I wanna look like, there's nobody that I wanna impress with the new me, it's just ME! I wanna be as happy and healthy as I can be and for me that means being a little less chubby I guess... It's just personal! I never had health issues and I was never obese, I just wasn't happy... And I'm a lot closer to my personal happiness now, but not quite there yet...
So anyways... I'm killing myself here by not giving it my best to get rid of the last baggage! So starting today I'm doing it, I'm watching what I eat and when I eat it and I will be more active again... THIS YEAR I will have gotten rid of every last damn pound holding me back from happiness!
One of the things I started noticing after losing all this weight, was that my upper arms are becomming horribly jellow-like!! I hate it! So last week I bought some lifting-weights, or whatever you call them, and every day I'm doing some lifts with my arms... It's a start to get that area in a little shape;) I'm not a gym-person, so you won't find me there, unless it's absolutely neccesary! Therefor I hope that doing all this little exercise I can do wherever I am can help me get a little into the shape I'd wanna be... Since I've already proven to myself that doing my best IS good enough, that is exactly what I'm gonna be doing again from now on! I'm picking up my diary again, cuz it helps me stay focused and I WILL step on that damn scale again and fase reality (I know I need a wake-up call somehow) and I WILL finish what I started!
The sun will rise for me every day and give me the strenghth I need to carry on! I wanna feel as beautiful as that sunrise and I won't stop until I get there!
If anybody reads this, which I'm pretty sure won't happen..... I just want you to know that you can do it! You have strenght in you that surprises yourself, believe me!!! As long as you want something a 100% you can achieve it, only you and no one else for you! Although it does help to have people supporting you! But remember... No matter what you do, do it for YOU
This is a pic of me last year...
If you know me, you can be the judge if you see any difference... ;) I'm happy to say, that by now I DO!
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