Is it really possible

Is it really possible that some people are meant to be alone? Well, not alone, but without that "special someone" "the other half" "soulmate" ... DAMN those words! I'm seriously gonna give up on love!
So I'm not the type of girl that goes out, it's not like I'm always at home! I go to places, I meet people. So I don't stand out and grab people's attention. Does that really mean I'm not worty of another gaze, another smile, another conversation? Do all men just have to walk me by? Do all men have to make me think they like me, just to eventually let me know they've been in a relationship for some time..??!! It's frustrating me and I'm tired of the disappointment!
YES, I have some standarts and I think all women should have them! It would avoid lots of heartbreaks! YES I battle my insecurities every damn day of my life and I'm trying to change whatever I can about that! And NO I do not need anybody in my life to add any insecurities, but I can't MAKE myself fall in love with a guy that just doesn't cut it for me! I don't believe in perfection, no one does. But people do believe in love... I want that too! I wanna believe that there is this thing called "love"I wanna feel it and give it like they say in those damn lovesongs. I wanna enjoy those lovesongs in stead of hating them! I wanna feel them! Not wanna cry because "here is another one talking about the one thing I don't understand"!

I just wanna open myself up to it. To a guy that meets my standarts, or at least comes close. Who will love me for me, and for what I look like and love to do in life. I wanna have my own place and kids and start having MY life. The life that I've been dreaming of for so long, how my house is gonna look, color on the walls, the furniture, the name of my kids, I want 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl all healthy! I WANNA LOVE! It's okay to dream, but I only dream for my dreams to come true... Just a little bit. It can't be too much to ask can it?!

Is there someone out there for me? My personal "prince Charming", maybe in disguise? My happy?


I wipe away another tear inside and think to myself: "You will get what you truely want and need in life, no matter what!"